近來有不少的煩惱, 不管是自己的還是別人的都使我有一種好大的壓迫感, 透不過氣來, 也使自己的頭頗痛

但今天還是很高興的, 有很多朋友跟我這閒人度過我這二十出頭的生日, 十分感謝各位朋友生日快樂的祝福以及大家的心意 這使我這心灰意冷的心感受到一陣暖意, 有一種温暖的感覺去溶掉因看化世事而在心中所結的一層冰, 使那將近凍僵了的心綬緩的回復脈搏, 恢復那失去已久情感上的跳動, 有一絲的感動, , 一種久違了的感覺

可能已愛上我那堆相識不久的 '最佳好友' 以及中辯那像家庭一般的隊伍吧, 才能把這些噁心的說話以文字形式表達出來

近日跟一友人訴談心事, 罕有地發現一位明白我的想法, 能透徹地分析我性格的前輩, 他看人之準確度連我自己也覺得望塵莫及, 使我更尊敬他, 認真地說, 除了自己以外, 他是我遇到的人中第一個可透徹地分析別人性格的人

心中已失去的火不知是否因着友人之言語所影響而醒覺, 被喚醒, 正慢慢的燃燒起來, 連自己看照片時也開始看見相中自己眼中所透露的 '光' 和 '氣', 這些在近三年已在相中消失的特質竟突然的重現, 這又昰否一件好事呢?

我應否去適放心中那可能會惹人討厩的自己,不再顧慮那麼多, 讓那火去燃燒呢? 連我自己也不知道

當局者迷, 旁觀者清, 只怕要知道這問題的答案還需要一段的時間去慢慢發挖了...

being supressed too much even lost own character...........

however one thing made me quite angry recently

all because of a cat

I hate selfish people for just do things for their own, tihnk of their own benefit but not others, a cat is also a life, it is not just a pillow for hugging and stuffs, it is a life which actually should be respected

how can there be some people not feeding the animal for like 3 weeks and the cat which is a pet is like so thin just like a cat walk by in the street?

y there are always such kind of person in the world and the worst thing is she not allow other to feed that cat, that's totally make no sense at all

also recently have lots of things to concern and worry about,

tihnking that should I give up and don't tihink of sth anymore, kind of feel that she is hiding fro me now.......

going to uni and start next wed, will live alone near to the uni

new life and new start

today went downtown to the orientation and joined 6 clubs:

Psy (which I don't think have anything to do)

Photoagraphy (may have competition)

Chinese UT newpaper, footprint (quite interested to play that and have some experience)

Chinese debate (interested to argue)

Catholic (since I am)

Christian (being forced to)

tired and don's want to move after that - - + having a headache - -

if a dog is running to a cliff, even people try their best to stop it, I still can do nth, actually with such an action, just cause those people who try to stop injure and bleeding becasue the dog will bite the peopel who stop them

no wonder there will have dogs listen and stay

some dogs may stop at the edge of the cliff at last

some dogs maybe lucky saved by trees grow on the cliff

some dogs may fall on some rocks which they can able to stand nut injured when they are on the way falling and dig a hole back to the gound

some dogs are same situation but don't know wt to do and stay on that platform, die because of hunger

some dogs may fall to the ground and dead

for me I am that type of dog which fall on some platfrom and injured, but will dig a hole back to the ground, I learn in this way
maybe because of this, I also try to don't let or stop people walking on the same path as mine before, want to use a small limited hope to change for a larger unlimited hope, some success and some fail, but at least all I tried mmy best, the final decision is not on me and on others

it's reli bad to learn sth after  sth bad happen

my sister Jade said that I always care and worry about sth that actually I don't need to care, make myself suffer so mcuh
but if I don't try, that light of hope will be weaken and be digested in the dark which difficult to light up again even the posibility is just 0.1% there is still a chance, at least I try my best, if still can't then I can say nth about itand have no regret